I’ve Just Awoken
The bicycle is ready
but I can’t ride,
Older now
With pains in my side.
“Daddy, come play
Chutes & Ladders or D&D.”
“Maybe later, I’m working now.
Just leave me be.”
But the words won’t come
My mind is a mess,
Of terrible things
With no egress.
Self-doubt, loathing and fear
Upon the inner ‘scape
I’m crumbling inward
A masochistic self-rape.
“I could stop it
If I try.”
But I know
Those words are a lie.
It can’t be stopped
Help is useless
Medication and therapy
Both are worthless.
Self-destruction
Fighting pain with pain
Punishment unjustified?
“There is no gain.”
It’s a new day
I force thought
Hoping for salvation
From the torment
Words come slowly
A form that’s not me
Medium of the great
Whitman, Thoreau, Longfellow & Keats
Words will save
But it must be this way
Writing at what I’m poorest
Darkness goes away
Something is wrong
Something is broken
But don’t ask me
I’ve just awoken
I’ve been having a rough time lately and the words just haven’t been able to come. I forced this out this morning – fighting through writing poetry tends to temporarily tear down the dark walls in my head. Thanks to Studio30 Plus and Marie Nicole of my cyber house rules for the writing prompt of “Don’t Ask.”
Sounds as if dark storms are brewing in that wonderful mind of yours. I hope for ease of mind and words for you.
Chuck Palahnuik said (it is my favorite quote), \”My best advice for writers is: Have your adventures, make your mistakes, and choose your friends poorly — all these make for great stories. But what\’s most important is that you Do Not Die. Also, avoid getting brain damage. Have fun, but don\’t die. We digest our lives by turning our experience into stories, so find some way to turn every event into a story you can express and exhaust of all its emotion. That way, bad events won\’t exhaust you. Then, never stop writing those stories.
I hope the next writing exhausts you.
My next writing didn’t exhaust me, but it gave me a much needed sense of serenity. Just as good, I suppose.
What Reptiles said? Awesome! She’s brilliant, and quoting Palahniuk (one of my FAVORITE authors) sealed the deal in the brilliance of her comment. But enough about her, this is about you (and me, it’s always about me). All of my fiction pieces are drawn from my life. Tidbits. Something a friend lived through, something I endured but modified, etc. Actually, Palahniuk wrote this really cool book called “Stranger than Fiction” (totally unrelated to the Will Ferrell movie) where he relates a good number of true stories upon which he bases his books. Such as “Fight Club” ever wonder where he got that story from? It’s in the book. But reading that will inspire you to view things differently and provide numerous stories…
I view blocks as the same as constipation. You’re not blocked up, you’re building up. If nothing is coming out it’s because there’s too much that needs to come out. And somewhere the stuff is clearing itself up so it can flow freely.
p.s. I love poop metaphors
p.p.s. why thank you very much for the mention! It’s very appreciated!
Ah … this wasn’t about writer’s block too much – more about my ongoing battle with depression (which affects my ability to write). I guess I’m a worse poet than I thought! LOL
See, I should have read this Before my comment. I hope you can fight off the demons dwelling inside. I can’t imagine what it must be li,e to have to battle something like depression.
wow that was powerful and emotionally raw..brilliant
Thank you, Becca
Ah, dreaded writers block. Also referred to as life
I’ve been there.