This week’s episode of The Linden Tree is up for your reading pleasure.
The Healer wakes up and is summoned before the village Elder.
Another reminder: All of The Linden Tree sessions are first drafts. They will be riddled with errors, please do forgive me that. Also, you can catch up on all past episodes at The Linden Tree portal.
Thanks for reading and your continued support!
It was February 2006 when my manager at the garage found me in his office, huddled under his desk. I don’t remember how I got there, but I do remember feeling – knowing – that if I touched another car, I was going to have screwed something up so bad that someone was going to die.
The funny thing about it is that nothing ever happened at the garage to shake my confidence. Actually, I was very good at that job. Fast and accurate. No problems at all.
But something in me broke that day and I never fixed it.
That day when I broke, my wife held me as I cried on her shoulder. She said to me, “Shh, I love you no matter what. This too shall pass.”
There has been another major change to my blog.
The name.
Welcome to Sinistral Scribblings the blog formerly known as I Can’t Brain Today; I Have the Dumb!
A name change was overdue, I think, because I had long ago strayed from the original vision of the blog. Back in November of 2011 when I wrote my first post, I wanted to create a blog where I could talk about my family, specifically the children and how I was attempting to parent in this age of hyper-technology. My first few posts reflect that.
As time went on, and I fell in with other parent bloggers, mostly mommy bloggers, I realized there are a lot of people writing about their families and I found them annoying and repetitive. I could only conclude that, I too, was annoying and repetitive. So I started to make a shift away from writing about the kids and began writing about whatever was on my mind.
That worked for a while – it still fit the title – but I was finding more enjoyment writing fiction rather than talking about my life. I was also becoming concerned with trademark and copyright issues (Go ahead and do a web search for “I Can’t Brain, I have the dumb.” It’s been around for a while and has a logo and t-shirts …)
So, as fiction became more prevalent on the blog, I decided I needed a name and URL change. After discussing it with a variety of people in a variety of ways, I changed it to Sinistral Scribblings – Left-handed writings of a right-brained man.
Now, I know that in this time of ours, the word sinister has negative connotations. If you look at the original meaning of the word, it means “Of the left hand” (on the flip side, dexter means “of the right hand.”) In my case, I like to think of sinistral meaning “off of the norm.” I coupled that with “scribblings” as an homage to my decade dead online writing personna of “The Scribbler.” In my post about wanting a tattoo, take a look at the picture of the zippo lighter. Engraved at the top is “The Scribbler” – the zippo was a gift from my wife while we were still dating over 10 years ago. (I did bring the zippo to a tattoo shop and was told they would have to blow the dragon picture up to the size of a softball to get all the detail. Too big for me. Though I did find one I want, jut saving up the cash for it.)
So, “Sinistral Scribblings – Left-handed writings” has been explained. But to my ears, that alone as title seemed lacking. I knew I had to add something “right” in there, but what? Right-brained people are the creative types (if you subscribe to the left/right brain theory) so I thought that adding that would work. I did, said the title out loud (if you’re a writer and you’re not reading your first draft out loud to yourself, you’re denying yourself a very useful editing tool) and I loved it!
So here we are, Sinistral Scribblings explained. It’s not evil – it’s fun!
I added a new banner as well. It’s a detail of a painting by Stephanie Pui-Mun Law. She’s a fantastic artist and you should really go check out her work over at ShadowScapes.
For those of you that might be concerned, the old I Can’t Brain URL does re-direct to the new one. So, no worries there.
Welcome to my blog, now with a focus I can deal with and enjoy. I hope you will too.
In an attempt to save some great writing from disappearing into internet obscurity, I am going to be re-publishing the anthology, Courage, Woe and Truth here at I Can’t Brain.
This book was originally conceived by me, though it was written by many talented writers. Please, click here to learn more about it and read the stories.
I enlisted in the Navy in February of 1990 and am a veteran of Desert Storm. It would be something to say that I saw some things that affected me forever, but that didn’t happen. I was still in Nuclear Power School at the time.
Petty Officer Storch, Machinist Mate 3rd Class
That doesn’t really matter though. What does matter is that hundreds of thousands of men and women have given their lives fighting while in military service to this country. Today, we are to remember them.
We are to remember them, our countrymen – men and women just like us. They may have enlisted for service and in some cases they might have been drafted. They came from all walks of life and served in the Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines, Coast Guard, Merchant Marines, National Guard – people as varied of background, personality and social status as there are grains of sand at the beaches of Normandy. People whose reasons for serving are just as varied.
They served and many died serving.
U.S. and French flags are displayed on the graves of the American Cemetery of Colleville-sur-Mer, near Caen, Western France, Friday, June 5, 2009. (AP Photo/Francois Mori)
Were they protecting our freedom? Some of them, yes, but not all – our government is nothing if not a propaganda machine. I am of the opinion that our country’s last Great Cause, one that actually did threaten our freedoms, was World War Two, but I do not let my opinion diminish the sacrifice our service men and women have made since that time. After all, my father served during the Vietnam War and I served 20 years after that.
So, no matter how you feel about the reasons our country has gone to war, do not let it taint the memory of those who died serving in the military. They are your neighbors, teachers, civil servants – your sons and daughters. Your Family.
There are only two words you need to say this Memorial Day:
Session V of The Linden Tree published today.
This was a strange episode to write because I had a clear vision of what I wanted to happen to the Healer, but I couldn’t get it just right.
The second half of this episode uses Quenya words from JRR Tolkien’s elf language as place holders until I can create my own words.
Coming next week, we will find out what has happened to the Healer.
Please remember, all of these episodes are a first draft, published to I Can’t Brain as soon as I finish writing them. My plan is to eventually go back and begin compiling them into a cohesive novel.
Her name was Matilda, but everyone called her “Matty” and she hated it.
Her hair was a stringy, mousey brown that just touched her shoulders, and no matter what she did with it, it always looked like she had washed it in lard. Her nose was too big and her teeth were too small. Her eyes were a dull brown that never reflected the light. She had bushy eyebrows, long earlobes and thin lips. She was thin, short and walked with a limp because her right leg was half an inch shorter than the left. Since she had blossomed, she also walked with a stoop because her breasts were too big.
In short, he was the ugliest person anyone had ever seen.
She was constantly taunted by the local children and even her brother. They called her names and pulled pranks on her. When she didn’t have to go to school, she hid in her room and read books.
She began wearing her grandmother’s bulky black dresses to hide her breasts, the stoop and limp. She took her father’s broad-rimmed hat to hide her face. It helped some if she had to go into town, but the children still teased her.
Her mother suggested that maybe a private school would be better. Matilda researched schools at the local library and found one she was interested in. Her mother said she would never be accepted, but Matilda applied anyway.
When the letter finally came saying that she was accepted, no one could believe it, not even Matilda.
She had been accepted as the first female student at the all boys school, “Destrier’s School for Young Warlocks.”
Matilda grinned and began planning her revenge.
This is my response to the Studio30 Plus writing prompt of “Her name was Matilda.”
Five times. We’ve been here five times with this pair, he thought. Early February and no snow. He loved the snow and missed it, but nothing could be done.
As the day grew long, they began to arrive and he knew it was going to be a good night. It was loud and hot, food and drink was abundant.
And then the event started. He had waited all year for this.
For revenge.
For vindication.
It looked as if he might get it. It can down to the wire.
But no.
Revolution howled loudly as time ended, all four legs giving way as he flopped to the ground. Superbowl XLVI was over and the Patriots had lost again.
Revolution, The New England Patriots biggest fan.
This week is a double whammy. Writing for two completely different prompts this week has a bit of a challenge. Lance and Leeroy’s 100 Word Song this week is The Beatles “Revolution” which was chosen by Barbara over at The Purple Moose Gazette. This is also a response to this week’s writing prompt at Studio 30 Plus, which was the picture of the dog.
Yes, you read that correctly. Session IV of The Linden Tree has finally arrived.
Also, it might be a good idea to get caught up on the previous sessions.
From here on, I am going to try my best to get one session out each week. I know that was my promise when I began, but life jumped out from behind a bush and tackled me. I finally won that wrestling match and vow to get back to writing regularly.
As always, I hope you enjoy.
It’s time to play, “How Did You Find Me?” the show that examines what search engine results drove traffic to I Can’t Brain and my answers to your weirdness.
Seriously, you people are fucked up.
Amid the myriad versions of “I Can’t Brain Today; I Have the Dumb,” a few stand out more than others. It’s surprising how many people can’t spell, use proper punctuation or grammar. It has me questioning the average intelligence of internet users. (No, it’s not. I already know people are dumb. It’s the only explanation for Jersey Shore.)
Whoever thought this up and put it on TV should be shot. Multiple times.
I cannot brain this
I actually like this one. It’s succinct and works very well. This was written by a person who didn’t have a whole lot of time left on the computer (possibly because his wife was about to come home and he had too many tabs open of Busty Asian Beauties. Alas, there is no porn on my blog, so I’m sure all he got from his search was frustrated. Sorry, dude.).
i can’t brain today. i catched the stupid
I’m sorry to hear that. Truly. Perhaps WebMD would have been a better choice of website to visit. Just sayin’.
This actually leads well into the next type of search that found my blog – people who used my actual name. Seriously? Do you have any idea how many “Eric Storches” there are out there? One of them is actually a famous doctor. I’m not a doctor, clearly. I use WebMD to diagnose myself. Which I thought worked well until I told my real doctor that I had a yeast infection. He looked at me like I had three heads (which would be cool, by the way) and told me that wasn’t possible and wanted to know why I thought so. I told him about WebMD and he laughed and said not to worry. I told him he better do something about the yeast infection because it was friggin’ uncomfortable, and he told me to “grow a pair” and shut the hell up. He has the best bedside manner.
eric storch i can’t brain and eric storc i can’t brain today i have the dumb
People, I can’t help you with this. I don’t know why you think I can, but I’m the one who “can’t brain.” I have my own problems. Try WebMD. I hear it’s a great site.
just say no eric storch
Mom, stop lurking on my blog. I told you I quit experimenting with pot almost twenty years ago. Let it go.
eric storch invitations
I’m a little baffled by this one. Are they looking for an invitation from me, or do they want to give me one? I don’t have any to give away, but I’d be more than happy for an invite to the upcoming Rush concert tour or a Patriots game. That’d be cool, thanks.
eric storch bedford, nh blog
There is so much wrong with this I don’t know where to begin. Obviously, someone knows where I live. (Now you do too. Crap.) I kinda hope it’s a stalker, because then I would know I hit it big, right? ‘Cause only super famous people have stalkers. I would totally get in to it too, like what’s-her-face on Thirty Rock. The chick who sang the “Tits and Ass” song in the movie version of A Chorus Line. Jane Kraka-toa or whatever.
eric storch musician
Whoever you are it’s way cool that you think so, but the last time I checked, I don’t have a Top 10 Hit. In fact, I’ve never been in a recording studio. Thanks, though. You made my day.
My blog has been no stranger to music. I have written several posts about it and featured a number of songs. It comes as no surprise then that people searching for music stuff would land here. Except I think they might have been expecting a little more than what they found…
pink floyd the wallpaper
I think you may have missed the entire point of that album, dude. Or maybe you didn’t. Hmm…
i can’t play back in black guitar and 1 year and still cant play guitar
Put down your guitar right now and walk away. Forever. If you can’t master “Back in Black” in two days, a week – tops, then the guitar is not for you. It is one of the easiest songs to play. Give up your dreams of being the next Eddie Van Halen or Angus Young. You never will be. Stick with Guitar Hero.
Cartoon by Electric Elliot
guitar songs to play for girlfriend
Here are five. Hope this helps you out, man.
“Big Ten Inch Record” by Aerosmith
“Sexy Little Thing” by Chickenfoot
“Seventeen” by Winger
“Feel Your Love Tonight” by Van Halen
“Talk Dirty To Me” by Poison
And, of course, there are those uncatagorizable searches. Things that I can’t lump with anything else, but are too cool to ignore. Behold! I give you…
i can see your quack (That’s because I don’t wear underwear. What!? It’s comfortable!)
wiggles purple dude
diary as to what to wear (Do I look like a fashion blog? At all?! I didn’t think so. Move along.)
who short on mr burns (I assume you meant “Who shot Mr Burns?” and not “Who’s shorter than Mr Burns?” Either way, it was Maggie, dumbass)
a dell rolling in the deep joke (Whatever you’re smoking, I want some. That’s some deep shit, man.)
if you can’t adopt (What? Kidnap?)
feelings i can’t describe tumblr quotes (If you have feelings you can’t describe, perhaps you need a therapist and not Tumblr. Just a thought.)
can 2012 ” equatorial guinea” january 20 (WTF were you smoking, meathead? Stay away!)
naked chick skipping stones
I haven’t ever had a picture of a naked girl skipping stones, but apparently, someone thought I might. Well, I can only oblige, I guess.
For you, perv.
snooki book cover
Seriously? WTF? Whoever thought that this:
would ever appear on my blog has never actually been to my blog. I would never associate myself with such drivel.
Oh crap.
OK! That wraps up this episode of ”How Did You Find Me?” Tune in next time when we examine such search results as “Sparks McGee,” “Felicia Day can’t die” and “Beastly tree tattoos for women.”
Until then, goodnight!
